Do you know what? I’m a sucker for a good argument…but every now and then I like to get involved in pointless arguments too. One such non-argument raging around us as we speak is about the issue of same sex marriage. The situation at the moment, for those who don’t know, is that straight people can go to church to get married whereas civil people can only have gay weddings.
Activists say homosexuals should be afforded the same rights as everyone else; grownups in silly hats and dresses who believe in angels and the exclusive use of the missionary position, however, seem to think this might bring about the apocalypse. Especially this fella, Cardinal O’Brien who’s probably just miffed that, as a Catholic boss man, he’s not actually allowed to get married anyway.
The things is, like most of the world’s great problems, the solution is actually really simple. How about this, right…currently you have all these different groups who all claim their version of marriage is the only version of marriage and that any other version of marriage is an abomination and a threat to the sanctity of said marriage. Now, they can’t all be right which basically means they’re all wrong. Therefore why not just standardise and simplify marriage?
Say that you can only be legally married in this country if you sign a particular form in the presence of a court appointed registrar at an official registry office. No ceremony, no pomp, just 2 people signing a legally binding contract. That is a marriage.
Then, if you’re a catholic go to a church and have a catholic wedding; if you’re a Muslim, go to a mosque. Jew? Get down the temple. Gay? Do the same as us atheists and go to wherever the hell you want because, after all, as long as you’re with the people you love on that special day it really doesn’t matter where you are…right?
Ultimately the point is that, even as things stand today, nobody in this country, regardless of religion, gender or sexuality, is officially, legally married until they sign the register anyway. Marriage is and always has been purely symbolic. Wedding rings, for example, don’t literally bind two people together in an eternal union. They just symbolise such a union.
In the same way that Christenings, Baptisms and Bar Mitzvah’s count for Jack if you ain’t got a birth certificate, you can say all the “death us do parts” and “sickness and health’s” you want, but unless you sign that form you ain’t married. So why not just make marriage the signing of a form and anything else you wanna do is totally up to you?
It’s the perfect plan and it’s the only way to ever be truly fair. Which essentially means it will never ever happen. So, just to be on the safe side, why not sign this? http://www.c4em.org.uk/